


101 Uses for a Phallic Tuber

by Vander38



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:27:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23728297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vander38/pseuds/Vander38
Summary: Ever wondered just how that book ended up in the Mansion?
Relationships: Hawke/Isabela (Dragon Age)
Kudos: 2





	101 Uses for a Phallic Tuber

The door knocks unexpectedly, the dog stays where he is, next to me on the couch with his head drooling into my lap, so it is probably nothing dangerous.

Then there is a subtle noise at the window, the dog looks up then relaxes, then makes an annoyed noise as I go over to the window and throw open the curtains.

“Evening Isabela, try knocking next time.” I say as Isabela is wide eyed through the glass with a set of lockpicks in hand.

“Force of habit.” She says sheepishly.

“Terrible habit.” I say as I open the window and with less than her usual grace she flops inside.

“So what’s up?” I ask after I let her stand, she doesn’t answer instead she swoops down and with both hands on my face she kisses me deeply.

I don’t know how but Isabela has managed to weaponize kissing, just somehow every time she kisses me like this I end up slightly light headed and can’t stop smiling for several minutes.

“Happy birthday Hawke.” She whispers gently after we stop kissing, her hands softly stroking my cheeks.

“I didn’t think you knew.” I say and she chuckles in that warm rich way.

“I have my ways.” She says as she presses a tightly wrapped package into my hands.

“Open it. Open open open open.” she chants, gently prodding me.

I do so.

It’s a book, a surprise from Isabela who is normally not a big reader, she normally prefers more pragmatic things or shiny things.

Maybe she is at last learning that gold and jewels are worth nothing compared to the contents of a book.

“One hundred and one uses for a phallic tuber.” I read aloud from the front cover. Maybe not.

I look up from the book and Isabela is already swaying her way over to the bedroom.

“Page 75 will surprise you.” She calls back with a smirk, so I flick through the book, half aroused half scared at what I may find, oh and the book has pictures I note then reach page 75.

My eyes grow wide as I inspect the picture, helpfully titled ‘The Harvest’ I quickly look back to Isabela, leaning in the doorway of the bedroom.

“You haven’t.” I say, unable to finish the sentence, she just smirks and makes a come hither motion.

“How can you even walk?” I say as I head towards her waiting embrace.

She presses her finger to my lips before gently kissing me once more, the door swings closed behind us.

The dog on the sofa just flops back down and sighs.


End file.
